I Learned Something Today: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

Often times I find myself in situations where my curiosity dominates my survival instinct. If my back is against the wall, I’m not always looking for a way out. Wondering what’s behind that cracked wall has made me gain access to treasures I could never dream of as well as tools that help me along the way. I could have never dreamed these things were possible if it weren’t for the lessons I learned playing the game The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.

The Lessons of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

1. Break every pot you find.
2. Don’t attack chickens, they’ll attack back.
3. Every enemy has a weakness.

This world is filled with valuable lessons.

Break Every Pot You Find

If you are a friend of mine and own clay pottery, don’t invite me over. That is, unless you want to be cleaning pieces of said pottery up after I leave. People love to just leave pots around and sometimes valuable things find their way inside of them. I have an almost obsessive compulsive desire to find out what is inside and the ritual is the same every time. Instead of just breaking pots with a hammer or some other kind of object, I lift them over my head. Throwing them about one and a half times my height away from my body is the only way to get a proper break. Untold items have been found thanks to me, and there is a reason my wife will no longer buy any kind of pottery. Thanks, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.

Don’t Attack Chickens, They’ll Attack Back

Look, I consider myself to be a lover of animals. I’ve had a few pets over the years and they have all lived long and healthy lives. However, I have never owned a chicken so I wasn’t quite clear what to do with them the first time I came across one in a social setting. I did what everyone would do if they came across a chicken in a social setting, I beat it with a sword.

Do you really want this to happen?

What a mistake that was. It just clucked at me while trying to run away the first few times I struck it. Then the chicken reached its breaking and called for backup. I had chickens flying at me in all directions looking to get their clucking revenge. This is one lesson I had to learn the hard way. Thanks, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.

Every Enemy Has a Weakness

If you ever find yourself in a tough spot against an enemy, know from the start that they have a weakness. Whether it be bombs, a boomerang, or a bow and arrow to the eye, that enemy can only take so much damage before he/she is defeated. Trial and error is often times the best method to use because different enemies have different weaknesses. Take for example the mall security cop on the Segway. At first glance you might not have a weapon in your arsenal to defeat such a vile creature but look closer. Almost every weapon you have can take out this Paul Blart wannabe. The most important one is the magic cape. It turns you invisible so you can sneak away from this devilish figure on two wheels. Harry Potter ain’t got nothing on me. Thanks, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.


Look, you don’t have to take my advice about anything I’ve learned from these games but let me recap just in case you didn’t catch it the first time. Clay pots hold treasure. Despite all outward appearances, chickens fight back. Last but not least, even mall cops have weaknesses. If your life can’t benefit from any of these lessons I’ve learned, you are on the wrong website my friend. Thanks, video games.


Giant Bomb (images)