I Learned Something Today: 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

In video games easy to get lost in an endless sea of  fantasy worlds or sci-fi epics, but that can leave you feeling out of touch with the real world. Thankfully, there are still games that are grounded in reality and willing to teach me that ethics and etiquette still count for something. I can now share with you the breath of fresh air that is 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

The Lessons of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

  1. If you want it to count, cuss them out.
  2. Useless ramps will get you out of traffic.
  3. Diamond encrusted skulls are not acceptable as currency.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

That's right, you expletive.

If you want it to count, cuss them out

I learned something today. Too many times recently I’ve found myself going through the motions of my job. It just isn’t fulfilling any more, and I’m finding that I’m just not getting the accolades that I feel I deserve. It’s because no one pays attention to you when you do your job, but everyone pays attention to you if you swear a lot. They can’t help but think you are a bad ass. So whether it’s delivering pizzas, answering phones, murdering fools, or making powerpoint presentations make sure you emphasize your job well done with a classy f-bomb. Thanks, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Useless ramps will get you out of traffic

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

No more traffic

I learned something today. Road rage afflicts us all. Everyone else around you cannot drive, it is a scientific fact that they will always be in your way. The more important your destination, the more they will try and stop you from getting to you goal. However, there is a shortcut and not only are they everywhere but they are completely awesome. Next time you find yourself in an annoying driving situation, look for a ramp. Not the entrance or exit types, the get-some-wicked-air types. If you hit it right (and you’ll know because you will go into slow motion and everyone will stop what they are doing to watch you in awe), I personally guarantee that by the time you land you will be at your destination. Thanks, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Diamond encrusted skulls are not acceptable as currency

I learned something today. We are living through some hard times, it’s no secret that money is tight for everyone. Be strong though, this is no time to give up on our economic system and go back to the bartering. You are only going to see more ridiculous objects put up for trade. Recently, I witnessed the diamond encrusted skull of a man’s former lover being offered as payment for an awful music peformance. Do not get distracted by how shiny and valuable some of these object are as the more intricate and unique of an item the more likely it is that someone else is going to notice it and want it. You don’t want to open yourself up to be the victim of easy theft and be left standing there asking “Where my skull?” because that’s how wars start. Instead stick to what we know, cold hard cash or untraceable online bank transactions. Thanks, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Conclusion

At first glance, you would think a game about a millionaire gangsta rapper fighting his way through the Middle East would be unrelatable, but there is a reason they have made all of this money. Keep it real, keep it simple, and keep drawing attention to yourself as much as possible. You are bound to be a success in no time. Thanks, video games.

I Learned Something Today – Who says that video games can’t teach you life skills? Sure they may get you put in prison or banished from society, but they are skills nonetheless. We take an over-the-top look at some of the potential applications of what video games have taught us.

Sources:

Giant Bomb (image)