Played Bloodborne – Death Before Questions

Oh what's that? You guys got something for me to read?

Oh what’s that? You guys got something for me to read?

Heavy narrative and slow character progression is for books, not video games. Video games are about exploring exciting and unfamiliar worlds and mashing buttons until everything explodes like a pinata filled with candy. Bloodborne is a video game. A video game filled with bloody pinatas.

Video games are more than welcome to try their hands at having deep storylines and complex dialog, but lets keep that to the sidelines. I’m here to take out my work-related pent-up rage. As long as you let me skip all the dialog and cutscenes and get back to the rampant violence as quickly as possible, we’ll be alright.

Not only is Bloodborne a video game, its a video-game-ass video game. You explore an area, searching every little alcove and hidden path in hopes of discovering secret items. You collect power-ups and experience points to make all the numbers increase. All the while having absolutely no idea the complex and layered reasons for why you are compelled to struggle against such overwhelming forces. You are the protagonist and there are things trying to harm you. So they must be destroyed until the game has no one left for you to destroy and presents you a scrolling list of names. I assume because I’m suppose to find and destroy the people who belong to those names…

Its not a video game without pointless accessorizing. Lookin good guys!

Its not a video game without pointless accessorizing. Lookin good guys!

Every area culminates in a big boss fight with some gigantic, terrifying monster. A boss you will most likely need to practice against as you learn its move-sets and multi-staged forms before being rewarded with the knowledge you’ll never have to fight that damn thing again. Unless of course there is some type of boss rush mode or a monster cavalcade right before fighting the final boss. Let’s hope not though, that is the worst way to end a game.

If you are one of those people who can’t stop asking “Why?! Why gosh dang it?!” then let me recommend one of my favorite Souls lore detectives, VaatiVidya. He takes considerable effort in putting together great little Ken Burn’s style videos explaining singular aspects of the world and telling the back stories of the people in it.

Bloodborne was released in March of 2015 for the Playstation 4.