The Horrible Gamer #020: The Shoots are Contagious

Whenever I used to have stay-at-home sick days, those basically became all day video game marathons. Now, when I’m sick, get me as far away from a screen as possible. I’d rather just sleep and avoid bright lights and noises all together. I even find myself having to ramp back up into gaming a little bit at a time. This time I didn’t want to have to use my brain too much so listening, puzzle solving, and character building were out. I just wanted to shoot shit (hence my Thursday livestream). Granted, with the release of Alien Rage and Shadow Warrior in the same week, I was already in the mood for some old school shooters. I was jonesing so hard for spraying and praying that I convinced one of our other livestreamers to play Hard Reset.

Shootin Shit

Seemed appropriate

I’m not sure why when I get the shooting itch, that I don’t just go back to play Doom II or Serious Sam because that’s really what I’m after. However, when any new game promises to bring back that feeling of those games, I have to try them out. There’s a simple formula to those classics and it’s proving almost impossible for modern games to recreate. Even later iterations of those same franchises haven’t been able to figure out the right balance (i.e. if you are looking to shoot shit, Doom 3 and Serious Sam 3 suck). I’m at the point where I no longer expect any of the new games to figure it out so I tempered my expectations for these new games.

It all comes down to challenge, pacing, and explosiveness. I need to feel like a bad ass while mowing down countless enemies, but things should be able to go wrong quickly if I make the wrong move. It’s not about headshots or finding cover, it’s about controlling the flood. I want enemies to come at me like they are being sprayed from several fire hoses of gore and evil. When one hose shuts off, another one needs to open up as soon as I get to the next area. Let me enjoy clearing a room, but be ready to kick my ass as soon as I cross the next line or find the next key.

As for explosiveness, give me some ridiculous weaponry each with it’s one unique ability to damage my enemies in a satisfying way. The more pieces that fall off of them, the better. I want to chip away at these beings and make a mess. When I’m ready for everything to blow up at once give me a giant room clearing weapon with very little ammo. The pay off has to feel great after all the gore grinding I’ve been through.

I can’t say that any of the new shooters brought me back to my glory gory days trying to escape hell on earth, but a combination of robot bashing, alien raging, and demon slicing made for a very satisfying week long package. If someone was to combine the best parts of all three of these games, there may be hope for shooting shit after all.

What do you think is the best homage to old school shooters recently?

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