Cosmo may not say that we’re fat, but it often feels like it, particularly considering there are several pair of pants that I own that I can’t wear anymore. There’s a reason there’s the phrase “fat and happy.” That said, I’d rather be fit and happy (see what you can do with one little vowel change?). The only thing is, cutting weight / getting back into shape kind of sucks, (it’s metaphoric and literal inertia) and there are only two things that are seriously motivating enough to get me moving on this in any more than a glacial pace: Competition (AKA: bragging rights until the end of time) and charity. Donate Here
Okay, that’s a lie. Charity really wouldn’t make me work any harder, but knowing I can wave the winner flag in my competition’s fffface will get me moving. While I’m at it, I figured I might as well do something Good, so I came up with a plot to get back into shape and do some Good through Horrible Night and raise money for Child’s Play. Now I just needed a
victim competitor. Fortunately, Justin L. and I are roughly the same height and build, and victims of being fat and happy. Then, we created the Gaming Our Asses Off challenge.
Here’s the deal, Sparky
One of the underlying messages of Horrible Night is that you can be a gamer (and do a lot of gaming) and still have a balanced (normal-esque) life. Once I pitched the idea, Justin L. generously agreed to participate as long as Ethan was named THE AUTHORITY for the duration of the event to ensure healthy weight loss and healthy gaming. Once that was settled, we decided on the details:
- Starting from Monday, July 9th – The first person to drop 25 pounds and score 2,500 gamer points (we’re sticking to Xbox 360 for simplicity’s sake) wins.
- The weight has to stay off when the gamerscore goal is hit. (No gaining the weight back and conducting unhealthy gaming habits.)
- All games played must have the approval of THE AUTHORITY for approval. THE AUTHORITY‘s word is final regarding which games are acceptable (i.e.: No NCIS);
- The loser donates $100 to Child’s Play in the winner’s name and has to wear the Cone of Shame at a public Horrible Night Out;
- Starting on Monday July 16th – Horrible Night will begin taking donations on behalf of either contestant*. Donate Here. Although it will do nothing to alleviate the shame of losing, we’ll also keep track of each competitor’s fund-raising prowess.
Bringing Sexy Six Packs Back
During the process, we’ll keep you up to date with things like graphs, jeers, pictures, trash-talking, Achievement Whore moments, a Checkpoint or two and our receding waist lines. We’ll cheerfully accept support, but, due to local and federal laws, cannot accept shipments of amphetamines and are unlikely to employ tapeworms, regardless of their effectiveness.
Donate early and donate often and keep in mind – it’s for the kids. (And in no way is it because there’s a pair of pants I really like that I want to wear again.)
*Hopefully, it goes without saying that any and all donations will be passed through, in full, to Child’s Play.
Art Streiber / Men’s Health (image of L.F.A.)