STOP REPLYING: Soul Calibur V Ads Find Their Audience

In what started out as an innocent email conversation of one man looking for sparring partners in Soul Calibur V quickly devolved into a sarcastic and chauvinistic display of what may actually be the game’s target audience. Well, at least according to the marketing team behind the recent ads for the game in Japan.

Disclaimer: While this is an actual email conversation among the writers of Horrible Night, this is published solely for laughs. We found the SC:V ads pretty disturbing, and, frankly, one of those things that keeps women from flocking to gaming (a bad thing). So in short: please don’t take our yuk-yuks to represent our opinions of women or the state of women in gaming.

Soul Calibur V Boobs

Stay classy, Japan.

Pig 1
Yo, is anyone planning on getting SCV? I’m definitely going to pick it up, but am debating what system to grab it for. I prefer the PS3 for fighting games, but if there is enough competition out there on the 360 I’ll go that route. What say the cursed?

Pig 2
Let me put it this way:
I was unaware SCV was coming out.
As much as I liked SC3 on GameCube with Link, if I buy a fighting game in 2012, it will be Mortal Kombat. Sorry.

Pig 3
Umvc3 is my fighter of choice

Pig 4
Ya I’m a big huge maybe until this game comes out and I read a review that says it’s incredible.

Pig 5
… nothanks

Pig 1
Thanks, guys… well it’s looking like a PS3 purchase so far. Going once, going twice….

Soul Calibur V Selection

Here it comes.

Pig 6
Are the tits bigger on the PS3 or Xbox version?

Pig 4
Bigger on 360, more jiggle physics on PS3.

Pig 6
And they’re all b-cups in sports bras on the Wii?

Pig 2
Are you kidding me? The Wii can’t support boob physics.

Pig 1
It’s pretty processor intensive. That’s why you need the cell processor.

Pig 4
I agree that sports bras are a prerequisite for all female characters on the Wii due to the lack of physics processing power.

Pig 6
Can’t they just reuse the code for Link’s hat from SC2 on the Gamecube?

Pig 4
Pig 6 likes Hat Boobs.

Pig 5
This better make it on the site.

Pig 7
Damnit I hate weeks that I travel, I totally missed the Soul Calibur to tits transition the first time through…

Pig 8
I might pick SCV up on 360 eventually as long as Talim is in it. As any of my ex-roommates know, “I’m awesome with Talim.”

Pig 4
“That’s what she said?”

Pig 3
I haven’t even considered buying this one because 4 was disappointing.

Pig 7
Can we get back to the boobs please?

Pig 2
Well, what about armor? I mean, in Mass Effect, the girls’ boobs were all mashed down by the armor. Ivy’s are…not. Thoughts?

Pig 4
Ivy is magnificent and should assist Miranda with wardrobe advice.

Pig 2
Hrm. That’s a good point, Pig 4. Bioware needs to hire Ivy to do the women’s wardrobe in ME3. I can deal with a month-long delay if it means that Miranda will be an Ivy-designed armor set.

Pig 7
I bet that hurts to have your boobs mashed down by armor, cause aren’t boobs like balls in that punching them and/or smashing them hurts real bad? That’s basically why I stopped wearing a cod piece.

Pig 4
Ivy doesn’t look uncomfortable. I think she has a trade secret that would be beneficial to all women, not just those who like to fight with supernatural weaponry.

Pig 2
I dunno – don’t sports bras mash boobs? I thought that was their raison d’être? Besides – extra padding against blunt force trauma, I’d guess? Also, Pig 7, you just have to get a properly fitted codpiece. They’re quite comfortable if you get one that’s big enough.

Pig 9
Pig 1, what you have started here is disturbing and beautiful.

Pig 10
I like boobies.

Sent from my iPhone

Pig 4
For those that missed the ad above, they issued a new one.

Soul Calibur V Ass

If you're going to play that game...

Pig 6
Why does that picture make me think of clowns?

Pig 4
To be Fair

Soul Calibur V Crotch

Turns out this was the only fake ad.

Pig 6
Preordered.

Pig 2
It is a small cup…but it’s probably big enough for two girls.
.
.
.
Yeah, I went there. You’re welcome.

Pig 1
Soul Calibur V –> 2 Girls 1 Cup

Mission accomplished.

3 Comments STOP REPLYING: Soul Calibur V Ads Find Their Audience

  1. Josh Lee

    Look at you assholes shunning responsibility for this vile thing. Shame on you.

    Of course, I didn’t take part in this disgusting thread. It’s all just so far beneath me.

Comments are closed.