Representing the Real Lifetime Gamer

When the “censorship of video games to protect children” issue comes up in the news, I tend to get pretty riled up. As a long time gamer (since I was probably around 5) I take offense to the notion that video games could affect the development of children. I’ve kind of made it a habit to push myself and my life to the debate’s front line as an example of what adult gamers can actually turn out like and don’t mind the scrutinizing of others if it will finally give evidence to the contrary.

My brothers don't play nearly as many games as I yet they are seen here posing aggressively.

This whole realization that I was representing the truth behind lifetime gamers came to me just after I arrived home from a paranormal investigation on Saturday afternoon. My friend and I headed down to Edinburgh, IN around 2:00 PM to investigate a potentially haunted theatre and if confirmed, neutralize the spirits that were causing issues for the living guests. Anti-gaming activists would love for you to think that all gamers do is play video games and pursue selfish, unrealistic goals, but that’s simply not true. We were actually helping others and that commitment alone is counteracts anything you’d hear from those fun killing wieners.

Bigger, Faster, Stronger

They’d also like you to think we’re all out of shape as well, but hours of running and CQC (close quarter combat) training shoots that argument down real quick. I’m not only healthy by the standards of the medical community, but can fight off attackers while wielding two completely different weapons (nun-chuck/katana blade combo usually, but I’ve been know to dabble in battle batons here and there). Just look at my attribute scores in the areas of strength, endurance, speed and agility; none of them dip below 6 out of 10.

I’ve got my nose to the grindstone in my real job because I understand planning for the future is essential to living a long and healthy life, but by the definition of the anti-gamers out there I should be struggling with the distinction between purchasing necessary items and buying more games. Sure I have a lot of games, but I also have money saved up so that I can begin work on an underground shelter (in case aliens or zombies attack). We tend to respect these jerks who go out and invest in stocks or save for their childrens’ college (which is risky should the stocks fall or their children end up dropping out), but never take notice of the fact that they have less than two weeks of food and water stored away for emergencies involving the breakdown of society as a result of supernatural phenomenon.

Stocks fall basically every day, why should I invest in anything but a post apocalyptic shelter?

Poor social skills have been synonymous with gaming and I’m here to tell you that I’ve never had a problem with friends or interacting with strangers in formal situations. Just a couple weeks ago I went out with some of my wife’s work colleagues and never mentioned video games once. In fact, I carried on adult conversations throughout the evening and spilled beer on myself not because I was drunk or nervous, but because I was using elaborate hand gestures to describe the special offensive movies I would perform should the scenario from Candyman actually occur. I didn’t even bring the subject up, a non-gamer did.

Pick on someone your own size

It’s not that I want the burden of the “successful gamer in real life” image on my back, but should some ignorant journalist need somone to argue with, I’ll gladly step up to the plate. Perhaps I’m not the best representative in the world, but very few could argue that I’m damaged goods after years of gaming. My extensive knowledge of non-game related protective magic and stealth manuevers is evidence enough that stereotypical gamers only know about more than just video games.


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1 Comment Representing the Real Lifetime Gamer

  1. moses5885

    All of the hours combined in Nathans Life of him playing games is way more than yours Ethan.

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